A Late Night Lullaby
I woke up last night at 4:21am. It seems like the baby’s favorite time to tumble around.
I got up to use the restroom, chugged some water and then attempted to fall back asleep. These days, as hormones rush through my system, it takes me an hour or two to settle back down – if I do at all.
Pictured: A very tired Kate reading to her baby bump.
I’d be lying if I said a million thoughts didn’t rush through my head during those witching hours. I’m 26 weeks pregnant tomorrow. That means a new human will be a part of my life FOREVER in just 14(ish) weeks?! I need to finish that registry. I need to work more hours. I need to meal prep. I need to clean this or buy that.
Add to it that my production company is filming its first movie in five days!!!??? I have to go to Walmart to get pie plates and raw chicken (you’ll find out soon). I have to vacuum before our out of town crew arrives. I need to triple check the budget. Did I add that prop to the “to-bring” list? What was that thing again?
Pictured: Young Kate (bottom right) and her sister Haley at a petting zoo at Cedar Point, circa 1997. If you zoom in, you can see the feral look in my eye. I get PUMPED at theme parks.
The thoughts are not a maelstrom of anxiety. In fact, it’s the opposite. Like a child the night before they go to Disney world, the 4am laundry list amps me up for the day ahead. I realize that I am so privileged and blessed to be living and actively creating the life I’ve always wanted to live. There’s just a lot of work, effort and intention that get poured into it.
I said this in the last newsletter, but having this baby has increased the urgency for me to actually live my dreams. I can no longer afford to wait and be “discovered,” or for someone to hand me the right opportunity. It is so much more comfortable to hold onto the dream and keep hoping that it will come to pass, rather than actively taking the small but crucial steps toward making it happen.
I ended up falling back to sleep. I woke back up at a leisurely 8:30am. I know that this is a minor luxury that I probably won’t have again for at least a decade. I smile at that.