The thoughts are not a maelstrom of anxiety. In fact, it’s the opposite. Like a child the night before they go to Disney world, the 4am laundry list amps me up for the day ahead. I realize that I am so privileged and blessed to be living and actively creating the life I’ve always wanted to live. There’s just a lot of work, effort and intention that get poured into it.

One of my favorite movies of this year's Oscar season was The Substance. Demi Moore gave the performance of a lifetime as an aging starlet who trades her lifeblood for a chance at being a younger version of herself. It's a gory depiction of the same idea I was circling around in that NYU thesis a decade ago, one that the ancient Yogis and Buddhists have been saying for thousands of years: attachment to an identity -- especially one that is based only on external validation -- is the ultimate form of suffering.