The thoughts are not a maelstrom of anxiety. In fact, it’s the opposite. Like a child the night before they go to Disney world, the 4am laundry list amps me up for the day ahead. I realize that I am so privileged and blessed to be living and actively creating the life I’ve always wanted to live. There’s just a lot of work, effort and intention that get poured into it.

I’ve been in this artistic life, post-educational system, for a little over 12 years now. And no matter how much I’ve hustled or pushed or tried to jump ahead, I always get to my destination at the time (and learning) scale it was always going to take. For some projects, it’s lightning fast – a quick stir fry. Others drag on, like an overloaded casserole slowly coming to temp at 350. And some projects are on crockpot time, where I forget I’m even cooking something but miraculously, 12 hours later, end up with a delicious chili.

When we dream big, it’s easy to fixate on the end result. And that’s fine, to an extent; it helps us chart a course. But if we’re always looking ahead, we miss where we actually are. Product comes with process and process is not always clear. In fact, the process is the path to clarity. And that takes the time it takes.